Oct 11, 2021

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Improved?

By Arisha

Why You Should Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

What Emotions Can Do for Us

 

Quite often people see emotions as a nuisance, but they are far more useful than that and it’s also possible to get better at using them. 

 

You need to understand that we have them for a reason, we need to pay attention to them to start learning from them in order to improve our emotional intelligence

 

Here are some of the things that we rely on our emotions for and don’t even realise. 

 

Driving Force

 

As in my last blog post, emotions can drive you forward, and on the flip side, draw you away from parts of your life. 

 

That push or pull is a part of your emotional intelligence that supports your wanting to do the things that you are good at, and what you are drawn to. 

 

All of the things that you enjoy doing, and feel connected to.  

 

When you feel like doing something, it’s your emotional connection to that thing that makes you want to do it. 

 

Now that you know this, you can improve your emotional intelligence to better define what you want out of life. 

 

So when you have pushed away from something or a situation, you know it is not something that you need or want to be a part of. 

 

However, if you are drawn to something it’s because it’s meant to be a part of your life.

 

Sometimes using your emotional intelligence to do this is easier said than done. 

 

I remember when I did my Psychology degree, straight after my business degree – this was a huge deal, as it was extremely costly, but also a whole new direction for me. 

 

But I knew I needed to get it done. 

 

There was something in me, my emotional intelligence, that I knew was the direction that I wanted to go in. 

 

To this day I am so grateful that I did it, that I followed my need to know more about humans and their behaviour.

 

What does this mean?

 

Think of your emotions sometimes as a guide, especially if you struggle with boundaries. 

 

When you know you want to do something you will have positive emotions towards it, but negative ones towards things that you do not want to do. 

 

This goes for people too, you know when you get that gut feeling about someone, either good or bad, that’s something you need to trust. 

 

This guide is a precious one, so paying attention to how you feel about a situation is how you know you have the right answer about everything.

 

How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

 

Signals

 

Your emotions can be a really good signalling response. If you sense a person or a place is unsafe, your emotions will trigger a response and process for you to stay wary and alert, stay still or fight for yourself. 

 

This response helped us back in the caveman days. However, nowadays it’s more of a hindrance. 

 

You see how we respond to danger is the same but the danger that we are responding to is completely different. 

 

It is the stress response that you are reacting to from the unknown. 

 

We can now use the stress response as a signal that we need to change the situation that we are in. 

 

That we need to reevaluate how we work and the people we are around. 

 

When you are in love you tend to respond with comfort, calm, and make more space in your life for that thing, or person. 

 

This is huge! 

 

It means when you love something you are drawn to it, not away from it. 

 

This means the things that draw you away from doing what you love to do, is not for you, it’s for your fear and ego. 

 

So when you know you love a job, you’ve gotta go for it, not talk yourself out of it. Even though the stress is at a higher level, the fact that you are interested in this new job, means you are meant for it. 

 

When you suffer a loss or are sad, you want to be in places where you feel safer, and you want to stick to places and people you know. This is a strange one for me when I found out. When I feel sad, or like I don’t want to do something anymore, I want to be completely alone. 

 

But it’s true! You want love, you need things that you are used to like people, places and routine. 

 

These bring you back to you who are and where you are from. I have learnt that reaching out to people I love, and who love me always helps when I am down but I learnt that the hard way. 

 

Once you learn that your emotions are trying to tell you something that you need to learn, you quickly start to give in to them because you understand that there is something that you can do to make yourself feel better, and see your emotions as a guide and something that you are always aware of to be able to support and guide you. 

 

Make Better Choices

 

You can use your emotional intelligence as a way to make better choices. Notice when you are your most indecisive and see what your choices are really clear, and why you are being pulled. 

 

Partly because of logic but the other part is your emotional intelligence. Your emotions are sharing why you shouldn’t want to go ahead. 

 

Emotionally intelligent people rely more on their emotions when they are making decisions and choosing what direction they should go in. 

 

Instead of being indecisive and thinking through their logical mind. 

 

The first step in starting a new habit is to have an awareness of what your best self needs and wants

How Emotional Intelligence Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

Emotionally intelligent people are more aware of how emotions harm the outcome of the day, your project and you. 

It is all affected by your emotions. 

Emotions do not last forever, they come and go, and emotionally intelligent people know this. 

So they understand and take a moment before they react to whatever emotion they are feeling. 

They are more self-aware so they show their emotions when they understand them themselves. 

But the main reason emotional intelligence is a good thing is that you are more able to empathise with other people’s emotions and understand that they may be going through something. 

Some of the experts also believe that EQ is a determination of your life success, more than IQ. 

“IQ can get you the job, but your lack of EQ can get you fired from your job” – Daniele Goleman

Emotional intelligence is  an amazing resource for us, and once you have learnt how to feel your emotions, and use them to your advantage, to live your best life, you see that you cannot make a decision any other way. 

If you want more details, please book a call with me to discuss this further. 

Arisha. 




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