The benefits of coaching I’ve experienced
Because of all the benefits of coaching I’ve experienced, I always think I was so lucky to find it. But of course I know now everything happens for a reason.
My first encounter was working for a HR company who supported people through their redundancies.
Long story short, I wanted to become a qualified coach, and start my own business, and now we’re here.
Along the way I personally have massively changed into someone completely different.
As to be a coach, you have to do the work yourself first, there is no point preaching something you don’t actually do.
Every. Step. Of. The. Way!!!!
The first of the benefits of coaching I’ve experienced is:
1. Giving myself permission to be me
I was always looking for guidance, advice, and magic secrets from anyone and everyone around me.
I wanted to know how everyone knew what they wanted to do in life, how they seemed to be so happy, and what made them survive without breaking down.
I constantly had this feeling like I was missing a really important puzzle piece.
One of my first coaches asked me what I wanted to build, and how I wanted to build it, and I explained what I wanted out of my life, and then she asked, but why are you not doing it!
And I simply said “I don’t know how”!!
Now that may sound crazy in a world of Google, but I was being honest. I really didn’t know how to show up consistently and how to build this life of purpose, and voice my own opinions.
I was so scared to step out on my own, and the excuse that I created was the most basic one!
My personal way of living is always through action. So I physically had to go out into the world, by myself and be me. I stick to this, to this day. Messy action is better than any well thought out plan.
I was absolutely terrified at first. I always had to do things with others, or I just wouldn’t do them. I needed to know someone out there was with me.
But when I started my own business I felt that – “I don’t know what I’m doing, so how do I know what to do?” It was HARD!!
I had to figure it all out from scratch.
I had to learn really quickly to get out of my comfort zone, but not only for my business but also for myself.
My first step was to figure out what one thing I could do alone.
The first small test, that wasn’t going to end my world. Lol.
I settled on taking myself out for dinner to start small. I’ve never really needed to be alone, and this whole experience was so eye opening.
I had two major realisations:
Firstly, what I was so scared of doing, so many other people were already freely doing. You see along your journey you will come across people so far ahead of you, but also don’t forget there are people still coming up behind you too.
Secondly, it was not as lonely as I thought I would be, going all the way out there, without anyone else meeting up with me, or keeping me entertained, or distracted.
I took a journal and a book with me, and loved it. I loved taking myself out on a date. This was crazy. I had needed people for no reason at all.
I was perfectly fine out in the world on my own.
This allowed me to see my fears of doing things alone, in my own way and choosing where to go, and what to do were not my actual truth.
Once you have physically walked through your fears that you have held for a while and acted despite having them, you find a new power and a new outlook on what you really are scared of.
This is a key lesson.
One of the huge benefits of coaching for me was being able to see that our fears are mindset blocks, they are not physical walls.
You are capable of overcoming all of them if you choose to do so.
What changed after this was I really started to take ownership of my decisions and how I was making those choices that broke down the barrier between me and my dream life. Allowing myself to side step my fears, and act anyway and let those excuses go.
This takes a lot of self awareness and unlearning.
You need to know who you are currently to be able to evaluate what is stopping you to be able to let it go, and create space for a new strength.
spf2. Speak up for myself
I thought going with the flow and being there for other people was me being a nice person.
I thought part of life was having other people stick up for me. You know my friends and family should be there for me, and support me.
But this was not always the case. Especially when I started on my own path that was different to everyone else’s.
Everyone has their own mission and perspective on life.
The fear of saying what I want came from being ridiculed for being too positive, and dreamy and not knowing enough about the world.
This is one of my insecurities that I have to work through from time to time, not seeing the whole picture, and not being worldly enough.
But I’ve come to approach this in a new way, so if you want to know more, get in contact with me, and I can explain, but that is not what we are here for today.
Another one of the massive benefits of coaching is helping me to speak up for myself.
In order to do this I needed to:
- Believe in what my purpose was.
- Speak up about the topic that I love.
- The more I did this the more I connected with people who had similar interests to me, which means now I have amazing friends who also have online businesses.
- Have people in my life who really listen to me and who understand me so much more.
I had to speak up in order to be heard, but I had to find the passion first.
This was one of the biggest benefits of coaching, and this is what I now cannot stop talking about.
3. Stop waiting for someone to save me
I used to always want someone to come and sort out my life, to give me all the answers to all of my problems.
Whenever I had a bright idea, or wanted to try something new, my instant reaction was, I wish I won the lottery so I could go for it, or I wish someone would come and give it to me, so I could have it.
Never did I think, “Ok, what can I do to achieve this?”
I know so many people do this too. Waiting to start your life when you have time, or when you have enough money, or when you feel ready.
However my coaching training taught me that I needed to take action from a place of knowing my power, not from my fears.
What this means is you cannot wait, you need to trust yourself so much that when you have an idea you go for it because you know you will either learn something or will be brilliant.
The thing is you only learn from doing. You can only see how you react when you are in it.
But how do you act, when you don’t know what to do?
I’ve never been much of a researcher, but you change a lot when you realise what you want out of life, and what you want to grow into.
You realise that there is something out there that you cannot stop thinking about and want more of it in your life.
Starting my own business forced me to research all the things I needed to achieve, whilst I was trying to achieve my dreams, and to this day I am constantly reading books and articles, and hiring coaches that have specific topics on growing an online business.
Taking action has got me further on my journey through the ups and downs, but I have really learnt that I am capable of learning more than I thought possible and that I do not need someone to instruct me.
I can find things out myself.
Holding your own is a whole new power, especially when it’s something new to you.
4. Investing in me and my dream
Lots of people save up, and store away their money in hopes to one day buy a house, or pay for a wedding. But not me.
I have never been much of a saver, and I’ve always been just fine. But the main things I invested in were my wardrobe and travelling. Things that I love. lol
Until I decided to retrain as a personal and business coach. This was a huge investment for me, which I simply could not afford.
But somehow, I went from someone who didn’t save to someone who found a way to pay for 1:1 coaching and courses that helped my business.
But this took me to an investment level I have never come down from.
I recently heard a phrase – it goes something like this – you can think you know it all until you start to learn about it.
Basically those who know about a topic and think they know it all, don’t actually. Because when you begin to study a topic, especially out of passion, you suddenly realise there is so much to every topic, sides to pick, studies to discover, peoples opinions to hear and so on.
So I am a massive believer in expanding your mind, and yes for me it starts in a classroom, but it definitely does not end there.
Once you start learning you discover how you take in information, how you create your decisions, and how you arrange an argument for or against the topic.
This started the journey of my understanding that investing in myself is far more important than any handbag, trip to Paris or which hair colour goes with this season!
It’s where you focus your energy that is more important, what will be the greater outcome, and what will make the most impact.
The main point – What will help me get to my dream life?
5. Develop emotional intelligence around pain
This was a real learning curve for me.
To deal with your own pain is one thing, but others as well is a whole different journey, and as a coach I had to learn the emotional intelligence journey of everyone’s pain.
Pain is caused by you holding on to someone else’s perspective on something.
For example, so many people think quitting a secure corporate job is madness, in every climate going. But to me, it was the healthiest decision I have ever made.
I could not stay in a place where my needs were never met, a new job title isn’t enough, a pay rise wasn’t enough. I needed the freedom that only comes from leading your life on your terms.
But the fear this decision brings up in others is incredible.
I remember telling my manager at the time that I was leaving, and she couldn’t understand it. I literally sat there and explained over and over again that I had to leave. She threw all her fears at me, and explained that she tried to make things better the only way she knew how, everything.
What shocked me the most was how long this conversation was.
That’s when I realised that this wasn’t about me but more about her. About her trying to get her head around why anyone would leave a job that they have been in for years, and have worked hard for and so on and on. All of her fears and pain in not having a job.
I would not be able to let all of her fears go for her, but I could listen to them, and keep a hold of what I really wanted.
That’s also one of the steps to take if you want to become more emotionally intelligent, feeling your emotions and listening to what they are trying to tell you.
Pain is from not healing a trauma that you have experienced, or that people have imposed on you, out of their fears.
Knowing that people judge through their pain and express through their pain allowed me to stop taking things personally but also I was able to see people in a whole new light and understand that everyone has been through something.
Knowing that people’s output is not necessarily about the moment, it can be about something from their past.
This helped me be me so much more, and allowed me to stop over thinking what other people mean.
There are so many more lessons, but this journey should never end. We should always keep learning about ourselves and evolving into a better version of ourselves.
That is why the benefits of coaching are so important for your personal development.
Sticking to your journey is hard and having someone to keep you accountable and see through all the excuses and limiting beliefs is the only way to make the whole process much smoother and see the benefits of coaching sooner.
I love supporting others on their journey, it’s why I am a coach. I have loved the journey I have been on, and know it’s one that a lot of people need to take to really feel a connection to their own lives.
If you want to experience the benefits of coaching like myself and my clients have, book a call and I’ll talk you through how I can help.
The Latest Articles
How to Find Your Passion and Make it Your CareerBy ArishaGetting Started With How to Find Your Passion and Make it Your Career The first step in how to find your passion and make it your career is always the hardest - finding out what you actually want to do Listen, I...
The 5 Stages of BurnoutBy ArishaWhat to look out for during the 5 Stages of Burnout and Avoid running Out of Your Office Screaming We all know what the 5 stages of burnout look like, and at this point I am betting we have all seen it up close too. But...
5 Ways to Improve Self-AwarenessBy Arisha The Importance of Self-Awareness Before you dive into these 5 ways to improve self-awareness, I first want to wish a happy Valentine's Day to you. I love this day where you get to celebrate love. ...